Howince Shorts
by Ember Firestarter
Summary: Wrote this at 12 o'clock in the morning if you guys like it i'll write more. ENJOY! i don't own the mighty boosh Rhythm is my OC
1. A day of memories

Howard lay in his bed slowly waking from a sleep when he felt a weight on his chest. He felt a kiss on his check as the lights came on. "Good morning Howard." A familiar voice said. Howard opened one eye to see the dark haired punk lying on top of him. "Good morning." He closed his eyes again. "You're not going to sleep all day are you?" Vince asked with a sigh. "I've got nothing else to do." Howard replied. Vince smirk, hanging his head over Howard's. "I can think of a few things." They kissed passionately. They stopped when they heard a crash down stairs. "What the hell?!" Vince exclaimed. They ran down stairs. The floor was covered in a black liquid. Bolo stood with a broken bottle in his hand. "It fell and broke." He said. Naboo walked into the shop. "What the?!" he walked over to Bolo and grabbed the bottle. "Oh no!" He shouted. "I can't even buy this anymore!" He glared at Bolo. "What was it?" Vince asked. "Seaweed water." Naboo stared at the ground. "I used to buy it off my mate but he disappeared forever ago. This was my last bottle!" He widened his eyes at Bolo. "Can we get more?" Howard asked. He wanted to help knowing that it meant so much to Naboo. "Yeah but no one knows exactly where." Vince walked pass the puddle to get a mop. "The best time to get it is on a full moon." "That's tonight." Vince added. "You can find it in the deepest depths of Black Lake." Said Naboo. Howard froze. He remembered the lake well he was terrified of going back. "Ok, we can do it." Vince suggested. "Howard and I know where it is." "Send Bolo." Howard said quickly. "He doesn't have the brain capacity." Naboo took the mop from Vince. "You lot can take my submarine."That night they sent off "Do you know how to drive this thing?" Howard asked. "I watched Naboo do it once; I think I can figure it out." Vince took the wheel hitting buttons, and pulling levers, the sub was off. "Wow, I didn't know you could do that." Howard said impressed. "Yeah, me neither I found the auto pilot." Vince rested his feet on the steering wheel. As they cruised in the submarine through the lake, Howard twirled his ring. He and Vince had been married for a few years now, right after the show. "What's wrong?" Vince asked. Howard shook his head. "You do that when something's wrong, it never fails." "Bad memories." Howard said "Oh yeah, you were trapped down here and we saved you. You never told us what…" "Nothing happened!" Howard cut him off. Vince fell quiet. He gently rested his hand on Howard's. Vince smiled at him. They saw an opening and a sign saying "Seaweed water" "You think it's there?" Vince asked. Howard rolled his eyes. They floated to the opening and got out. Howard found a pound filled with the same black liquid in the shop. Howard grabbed the bottles they brought and began filling them. Vince wandered around, looking at all the details of the cave. He heard a rustle behind a rock. He walked towards it, kicking over a shoe. "Huh?" He looked down as something spilled out of it. He saw a green leave sticking out from behind the rock. "Hello?" Vince said. A green creature in a sliver jacket and a tutu walked out. "Hi… I'm Old Gregg." He replied sheepishly. "Oh, hey, do you live here?" Vince asked. Gregg nodded. "Well we need to get some seaweed water. If that's ok." "Oh, yes, lots of Shaman comes in here to get some water." "Cheers mate." Vince added walking towards Howard. "Hey babe, look what I found." Howard filled the last bottle and sat it down with the rest. He turned and froze in terror. "Howard!" Old Gregg ran to him, hugging his waist. Howard pushed him away. "Hello Gregory… Nice to see you." He patted his damp shoulder. "You came back for me." "Not exactly." Howard glared at Vince; he had his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh. Gregg looked down at Howard's wedding ring. It wasn't the one he gave him. He turned to Vince and stared at his. "You forgot about me didn't you?" His eyes filled as he looked at Howard. "I'm sorry Gregg." He said. The scaly man fish ran behind a couple of rocks. Vince got close to Howard. "What is that?" He asked. "It's hard to explain." Vince gasped in shock. "You didn't sleep with it did you?" "No!" Howard protested. "Because I can see you bumming a mythical creature." Vince giggled to himself. "No it's not like that ok. I got him on my fishing line, he took me down here, we sang together, and then you saved me ok." "You sang together? That's a bond; you guys are basically married now." Vince joked, still laughing at the situation. "Well, I don't love him I love you." "It's a 'him'?" "Well I think so." Howard looked pass Vince and listened to the sobbing. He walked over and sat beside Old Gregg. "Is this a game?" He sniffled. "Do love me?" He sang. "Are you playing your love games with me?" Howard stopped him. "That was a onetime thing. "What was a onetime thing?" Vince yelled. "Shut up!" Howard looked back at Gregg. "I'm sorry… But your love will come." Gregg looked at him with hopeful eyes. "Really?" "Yep, you wait and see some man will come and knock you of your feet." Gregg nodded. Howard and Vince went back home, gave the bottles to Naboo, and went to bed. Howard held Vince in his arms. "That's really sweet what you said." Vince broke the silence. "Well," Howard added. "He's a sweet guy." "Did you fancy him?" Vince asked sincerely. "Honestly… A little." Howard chuckled. Vince smirked "Are trying to make me jealous?" Vince rolled over on top of him "Don't you play your love games with me."


	2. Rhythm and blues

Vince and Howard sat on the couch trying to write a new song. "How about 'Cheese and noodles'?" Howard suggested. Vince glared at him. "That's just silly." He replied. Naboo walked up the stairs. "Hey guys." He said at the top of the stairs. "Bollo is djing at this new club tonight. Wanna come?" The two looked at each other and shrugged. "Ok, when?" Vince asked. "7 o'clock." Vince glanced at the clock. "4 I only have 3 hours to get ready!" Vince jumped off the couch and sprinted towards the bathroom. Howard rolled his eyes. "See you then Naboo." Howard waved good bye his eyes not leaving his notes. Around 6:30 Vince finally had is hair done and outfit picked out. They were off. At the club young people hopped and bee-popped to the loud music. Vince and Naboo joined the crowd while Howard sat alone. "Come on." Vince said pulling on Howard's arm. "We all know you can dance." A small smile came across the man's mustached face. "You bet your extensions I can dance!" Vince put his hands on his hips. "This is a natural and you know it old man!" He sassed with a smile. Howard grabbed Vince's hand and escorted him to the dance floor. Though the music was fast, they waltzed. Everyone else faded away. Has the song came to an end Howard kissed Vince's hand, bowing. Vince curtsied and laughed. Howard loved to hear him laugh. They walked to the bar. "Two glasses of wine please." Vince ordered. The barkeep nodded. Howard stared out into the crowd. He spied a young lady sitting alone. She wore a beret and a red striped shirt. The collar was cut to show her shoulder. There was something alluring about her; he wasn't sure what it was. "Cheers mate." Vince said taking the glasses from the barkeep. He handed one to Howard who tried to drink it but missed his mouth. "Hey, hey!" Vince alarmed. He grabbed a napkin. "Huh? What? Oh opps sorry." "It's alright." Vince said helping Howard clean up. "What are you staring at?" Vince leaned into him trying to see what was so interesting; that Howard stopped paying attention to him. "Old girlfriend?" He asked. Howard shook his head. "Nope, there is no such thing." He added. "Oh yeah, because you're a virgin." Vince stated. "I was; until I met you." Howard wink as he rose to walk over to the girl. Vince watched him. Howard almost never went out of his way to talk to strangers. Howard occupied the seat sitting across from the girl. "This seat taken?" He slyly remarked. She giggled. "No." He outstretched his arm across the table. "Howard moon." "Harmony." They shook hands. Vince looked on as they chatted. After a minute or two of pointless flirting, Vince decided to take action. He kissed Howard on the cheek. "Hey." He said looking at the two of them. Harmony put her hands in her lap. "Vince this is Harmony, Harmony, Vince." "Nice to meet you." "You too." Vince replied. "She is a jazz trumpet player." Howard mentioned. She nodded. "I'm not any good though." "I'm sure that's not true." Vince said, sitting next to Howard. "Come by the shop and 'Noodle' with Howard, or whatever it's called. Howard is a multi-interment lest." Howard shrugged. "Coolio!" She said "See you then!" She grabbed her bag and walked out the door. She waved good bye. Vince waved back. "She seemed nice." He added. Howard nodded. There was something very weird about her. Very weird indeed. The next day Harmony came into the shop. She had her trumpet case with her. Naboo was behind the counter. "Hey, Harmony, long time no see." He greeted. She set her trumpet case on the floor. "Hey, you guys are the only ones who sell trumpet socks." She said. "That was Howard's idea." Naboo said, cleaning a bottle. Harmony walked over to the shelf and examined the different styles. Howard walked down stairs. "Hey!" He hugged her. "I see you like the trumpet socks." He said. "Yeah, my old one my mom made me is ripping." He glanced over at her case. "May I?" He asked. She motioned him on. He opened it revealing a beautiful, shiny, gold trumpet. "Neat." Howard inspected it then handed it to Harmony. "Madam." She put the trumpet to her lips sending a sweet jazzy tone through the shop. Clapping came from behind her. "Bravo, bravo!" Vince cheered. She blushed. As the days pasted, Howard and Harmony spent a lot of time together, talking about jazz, playing together, and skipping merrily around town. Vince felt something wrong in his bones. He walked down stairs and Harmony was talking to Howard in the shop. "Here," She handed him a CD. It had nothing written on it. "It's my jazz collection, it's so funky, but you get the best effect when you listen to it alone." She smiled. Vince continued to eves drop until she left. "What's that?" He asked pointing at the CD. "Some jazz, Harmony gave it to me." Bollo poked his head in. "I have a bad feeling about this. "Go away Bollo you're not in this one!" Howard snapped. Bollo slowly went back up stairs. "Don't yell at him, he's got a point!" Vince agreed. "That girl has 'bad news written all over her." "How?" Vince pondered for a second. "Well… Just be careful ok?" "Why?" Howard protested. "Just promise me." "Ok I promise." They kissed on it and Vince got ready for bed. It took Vince forever to take a shower so he knew he had time. He popped in the CD and put his head phones on. The beats soothed Howard and he went into a jazz trance. He blacked out and woke up in a chair, his body still numb from his trance. "Huh? What? Help!" A figure appeared in front of him. It laughed evilly. A light shone upon the shadow. "Harmony?!" He gasped. Naboo stood beside her. Howard's jaw dropped in shock. Naboo unzipped his disguise, it was him; the spirit of jazz. "You thought you could escape me boy!" He laughed. Howard tried to move but musical staffs chain his arms and legs. All the lights came on in the shop. "Did I do good daddio?" Harmony asked. "Oh, you know you did baby." He pulled her close and kissed her. Howard cringed. "Who are you?" She laughed dryly. Musical notes surrounded her, creating a dress of staffs and notes. Her skin turned blue. "She is my wife to be." The spirit of jazz kissed her cheek. "Rhythm." She smiled at Howard. "Now what Jazzy?" She asked. He stared at Howard with his glowing red eyes. "He's all mine." The real Naboo walked through the door carrying two suit cases. "What's going on?" He asked. He looked up at the spirit and dropped his bags. "You!" He yelled he ran behind the counter. "Naboo, where have you been?!" Howard struggled trying to break the chains, but no luck. "Holiday, I told you three times!" He shuffled looking for something. "No you didn't." "I left a bloody note!" Howard glanced at the desk, a note said, in big letters. "On holiday, see you soon. –Naboo." "Oh." Naboo pulled out a vacuum and pointed it at Jazz. "Who the hell is that?" Rhythm asked holding on tighter to her lover. "I'm Naboo that's who." He sucked the evil doer into the vacuum. "No!" Rhythm cried. "Who haven't seen the last of me!" She ran out the door. Howard's chains disappeared. He ran after her but she was gone. Later that night Naboo disposed the cretin, no one knows how. Howard read his notes on the couch. Smooth jazz began to play. He looked at the stereo, he heard snapping and foot tapping beside him. "Man I love the beat to this. The beat and the uh…" Howard chuckled at his love sitting next to him. He reached around grabbing the remote to the stereo, turning it off. "What are you trying to do?" He asked. Vince hung his head. "You seemed so happy talking to Harmony, or whatever her name was, I just wanted to make you happy." Howard kissed the younger man pasonitly. "You do make me happy." Vince smiled and kissed him back. "Good." Vince laid in his lap, and Howard scatted the young mod to sleep.


End file.
